Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Santa, Depression

Sunday, 14 December 2008

image for Santa Claus Bi-Polar
"I've been doing fine, thanks"

North and South Poles - The man known as Santa Claus, Saint Nick and Kris Kringle, who brings joy to millions of children around the world on Dec. 25 each year has been discovered to suffer debilitating bouts of depression after the holiday season ends each year.

While Mr. Claus has been putting on a jolly face for the public during the Christmas season for hundreds of years he immediately lapses into extended periods of torpor and malaise immediately thereafter - snipping at his wife, complaining about the poor state of BBC television and slapping the elves on the top of their heads Benny Hill fashion.

"One can hardly blame the old man" Mrs. Claus says, "Santa's not as young as he used to be. It would tax the memory of someone half his age to keep up with the all the names of the children on earth these days not to mention who's been naughty and nice."

"Used to be he was worried about getting stuck in the chimney, now he worries he might not be able to download some presents. Mind you he does try to keep up with the times. He has started calling out the reindeer's names rap style."

"I bought him a GPS this year to help him keep up."

"He never stops and asks for directions like he should you know."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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