Written by Steddyeddy
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Saturday, 13 December 2008

image for Public fuming after X-Factor results announced before final takes place
Part of X-Factor owner Sherman Cowbell's prize

The public were fuming today when it was revealed that the winner of X-factor was announced before the final even took place.

The final line-up consisted of Whitney Doncaster, an extremely talented girl whom the public were upset wasn't around at the time the screeching Liona Lovitch won, BLT, a 'band' of four lads who are called a band even though they don't play any instruments and Eoghan Monie, a young Northern Irish lad who all the young women are raging that contestant Dinamo, who was knocked out of the semi-final, beat them all into finding out his brand of boxer shorts and what he keeps in them.

Nevertheless, the winner was announced before the premuim rate phone call numbers were even announced.

Try as he might, X-Factor owner, Sherman Cowbell, wasn't feeling the slightest bit of remorse that after 12 weeks of the programme, the winner was revealed before the public voted. He said he felt that the public realised who the winner was anyway, so the final was only arbitrary.

He said: "Yes, I suppose to a degree I'm sorry the public found out who the winner was before the programme. Thanks to all the premium rate vote phones, my huge fee, the money that has rolled in from the pointless pre-ad-break competitions and all 12 final singers who have signed exclusive deals with my record label, yes, I admit I am the winner.

"All I can say is that I hope to make even more money from the gullible public next year when I think it's fair to say I will win again. Which is also a song by Hot Chocolate devoted to the superb me, my hairstyle and my brand-new teeth."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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