Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Saturday, 13 December 2008

image for Angelina Jolie and Madonna sign for celebrity surrogate
Turkeybaste productions.

Turkeybaste production chiefs were cock a hoop today when Hollywood A lister and media mammy Angelina Jolie agreed to participate in the first series of 'Celebrity surrogate' only hours after they had clinched a deal with newly divorced multi platinum selling songstress Madonna.

Both women are supposed icons to regular women across the globe and their involvement is set to make 'Surrogate' a guaranteed sure fire hit for the next nine months.

Viewers are set to see the complete gamut of human emotions as Ange and Madge bare their souls and their dignity in honour of the quick buck.

9 celebrities will compete with along with nine childless couples who bring with them a hugely diversified range of beliefs and delusions.

Ralph Cakewell, Chief executive of Dublin's 'TB Filems explains',

"This is a bold move in television's development as a medium, we feel that 'Celebrity Surrogate', over it's nine months saturation coverage of celebrity pussy and stretch marks, will bridge the gap between hearts and pockets. 'Surrogacy' will tug on the heartstrings of modern society as subscribers see one lucky couple win the legal papers to a celebrity baby.

'Surrogate' will be broadcast simultaneously on 9 different Sky television channels, each one devoted to it's celebrity 'Mom'.

Every month viewer's will vote off a 'Surrogate' until the 'Grand Finale on 25 December when the baby will be born live on television to a world wide audience of billions, in a hay shed near Roscommon.

Medical team's will be on standby ready to induce the winner should the baby fail to appear by 7pm prime time and all the contestants medical minders have been briefed in all aspects of emergency Cesarean section if no progress has been made by 11.30pm.

Angelina Jolie and Madonna have reportedly been paid 25 million dollars each to appear but the real carrot is the winners bonus of almost limitless lucrative advertising campaigns and commercials.

Kerry Katona will also be appearing and has agreed a a fee of a years shopping at Iceland and free ice cream for life should she win the main event.

Former New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark and Ireland's independent TD, Minister for Health, Mary Harney will also compete.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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