Audience after audience have left the Broadway revival of Hair disappointed that today's youthful actors just cannot relate to that special something that sixty somethings recall if they can even remember the Sixties. Producers of the show in a last ditch effort to save their investment have reassembled the original cast.
The new production has presented numerous challenges. Remembering lines and lyrics has proven near impossible for the burnt out brains of the Vietnam generation. All voices will be dubbed and the lights will be kept low around the lipsyncing mouths. The dance numbers will be done in slow motion under strobe light to add drama and disguise arthritis and osteoporosis. The show will be shortened to one hour with two intermissions for potty breaks.
The scene that has attracted the most curiosity from critics and theater buffs, of course, has been the infamous display of naked freedom. It was doubted that youth worshipping Americans would accept nude retirees. To the shock and awe of preview audiences and critics the freedom scene has been a big hit.
A bevy of blue hairs gushed at intermission:" Finally bodies that look like America !"
Even younger observers found the display hot. One teenybopper exclaimed:" I didn't think a dick could shrivel like that! It's a compact cock for the green generation !"
A studdly twenty something said :" God! Tits down to the knees ! That's my kinda mammaries!!"