Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 5 December 2008

image for Joe Swash Wins I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, And Kisses All The Blokes To Celebrate
Joe Swash's hat

EastEnders star, Joe Swash, became the latest winner of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here tonight, and to celebrate, kissed all of the male contestants, fuelling intense speculation that the chirpy actor might 'really fancy blokes'.

Swash, who last week, had eaten kangaroo penis, was the nation's favourite when the public votes were counted, though his antics after the result was announced, will have raised many an eyebrow throughout the country.

First, Swash gave a peck on the lips to Brian Paddick, the bent copper, before embracing his favourite man, George Takei from Star Trek, and fully snogging him.
Takei had to break away for air.

Mickey Miller, as he is sometimes known in Walford, then turned his attention to Simon Webbe and Timmy Mallett, and the three amigos indulged in an act that cannot tastefully be reported here.

Joe did, however, draw the line at David Van Day, who the chirpy actor called:

"a fanny".

Well done, Joe! You're a nonentity! Get out of here!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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