Hollywood CA-- Rosie O'Donnell is planning to star in a remake of one of television's most surreal shows-- The Prisoner. Rosie will be Number 6, the woman without a name. Various enemies of Rosie will appear each week as 'the new Number 2'. The updated show will feature Rosie trying to escape her imprisonment in The Village and her search for Number 1. It's hoped the new show should be even more surreal than the original.
The opening scene of 'The Prisoner' begins each week with a brief clip of how Rosie came to be imprisoned. It will show Rosie pushing hamburgers and french fries into her face as she drives her shitty 1977 Dodge Dart to ABC studios in New York City. Rosie is shown angrily stomping through a parking garage to Barbara Walter's office and handing in her resignation after a nasty altercation. Rosie is then seen driving to her roach-infested efficiency apartment, while eating another hamburger. She is kidnapped there and taken to The Village.
The first episode of The Prisoner is called 'The Girl Who Was Republican'. It features Elizabeth Hasselbeck as The Girl. She follows Rosie around the Village, setting comical death traps that don't work. Donald Trump stars as the new Number 2. Rosie eventually smothers her two co-stars with a giant hamburger at the end of the episode.
All of Rosie's enemies-- Star Jones, Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace-- will appear each week as the new Number 2.
Producers and betting on Rosie having another nervous breakdown. They are planning on using her breakdown as plot material for the surreal show. Her recent 'variety hour' will be used for the second and third episodes.
The bizarre show premieres on ABC in January. Rosie is eating hundreds of hamburgers to prepare for the show!