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Thursday, 4 December 2008

image for Barry Manilow meltdown means O2 arena concerts cancelled after first night
Borey Manilow's experience has Joan Collins checking for signs of melting

Borey Manilow's series of concerts at London's White Elephant Arena have been cancelled after only one night, because on his opening night, the star started to melt under the lights.

The promoter of the show, Con Bookingfee, explained that as Barry was about to sing the chorus of his hit "Bandy", the song about a model who walks like she has the post office tower shoved up her rear, his nose began to drip. Taking out his nose sheet (unfortunately, the stature of Borey's proboscis demands more than just a humble Kleenex) to wipe it, his nose came off.

Being the professional that he is, Borey ignored this and continued to perform his acclaimed hit about drug abuse on the Spanish Costa Del Crime "Coke a Cabina".

However, feeling an irritation on his chin, he itched this, only to find his entire lower jaw came off in his hand.

A doctor was called, who asked Mr Manilow to make an appointment for the following Thursday-week, so it was left to a member of the resident St John's Ambulance to explain.

He said that due to the heat of the lights in the arena, the extensive face alterations that Borey has undergone to maintain his youth (unlike Gary Glitter who just paid money to maintain his), involving almost 3 tonnes of plastic, unfortunately, Mr Manilow just began to melt.

In fact, the St John's expert said that had Mr Manilow remained on stage until the end to perform his hit about internet diseases, "Her name was E Bola", he might have ended up as a blob of soft plastic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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