Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Wednesday, 3 December 2008

image for Miley Cyrus To Join Benny Hill, Stan Laurel And Oliver Hardy In 'On The Buses' Remake!
Benny Hill to be defrosted for the entertainment of billions, won't he be pleased !

Cryogenics and digital editing have enabled teen sensation Miley Cyrus, to star in a $200 dollar remake of 'On the Buses'. The sexy teen who bears no resemblence to Hilary Duff will replace Ana Karen as Olive.

Producers state "While age has been unkinder to Olive, than her genes. We simply didn't want a comedy ugly old boot. We wanted to pull in a young crowd and so decided to go with Miley. She has been instructed not to wash her hair for two months, in order to replicate Olive's greasy lank hair-don't".

Fans of slap-stick and British smut will not be disappointed, as Olive Hardy and Stan Laurel are to be ressurected from the dead and will be playing Stan Butler and Jack Harper, respectively.

Producer, Bernie Finklestein said "As this pair have been dead for so long, it would be impossible to dig them up and to simply stick a couple of Bus uniforms on their corpses. We tried this anyhoo and it was more scary than funny. So they will be digitally edited onto the screen. Benny Hill is a lot easier as he died in the 1990's and he was frozen, then kept in an industrial freezer alongside two tonnes of fish fingers, 'Walt Disney's head', and a packet of Aunt Bessies 'luxury' Yorkshire puds"

Benny will be thawed out in two weeks and then given the script, after Doctors explain to him, how they have desecrated and exploited his body. He will be playing 'Blakey.' However, the peak of his cap will be turned to the side. He will delve deeper into the psychology of Blakey, than Stephen Lewis's potrayal of 'Blakey'. He will do this by constant blinking, saluting everyone who walks past, and talking in a funny voice."

Ana Karen, the original 'Olive', is tipped to play 'Mum' as a consolation and sympathy role. Madonna is tipped to play Arthur, due to her masculine appearance, arrogance and 'authentic,' Dick Van Dyke British accent.

Author's Disclaimer: Monkey Woods is taking complete responsibility for this story. I was merely a vehicle for his hatred, sarcasm and bitterness. I am aware that Laurel and Hardy fans are as tough as nails. I therefore would never do anything to denigrate their memory, as I love them. Monkey Woods, however has used foul language about them! Effin and Blindin he was! Go after him!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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