Written by IN SEINE
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Tuesday, 2 December 2008

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The trees, while they're still here

This year's reality series of 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here!', has been fraught with bickering and in-fighting. There have been suspicions that the phone-lines have been tampered with, and any callers who voted for Robert Kilroy-Silk MEP to stay in were immediately intercepted by some 'geek' in Brussels.

Kilroy, former TV chat show host but now MEP has been criticised by fellow MEPs for his two-week 'jolly', told In Seine News that the whole experience was a 'doddle' because he is "surrounded by venomous animals" every day when he works in Brussels so to be covered with cockroaches, leeches and spiders was just like a "day at the office".

ITV, the makers of the programme have been warned that due to deforestation, the jungle will not be there after 2010 and so the filming will have to be made in the next 2 years. Furthermore, many of the creatures headlining the series will be extinct.

The programme makers have decided to make two last editions of the show: one will feature all of the previous winners to find out who is the ultimate King/Queen of the Jungle and the other will feature Ant & Dec as contestants themselves.

Dec, the shorter part of the comedy duo told In Seine News;

"There have been a lot of allegations that we've messed with the phone lines, but this is just not so. Okay, we've just shown the bad bits of celebrities with the exception of Mylene Klaas. But because we've been taking the Mickey out of so many contestants for years, the Producers have put a clause in our contract so that we must eat everything from Witchety Grubs to Kangaroo testicles and Crocodile's Penises; we have to be buried with rats and who knows what else?

It is rumoured that Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson will host that particular show. When asked, the 'Stig' kept tight-lipped.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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