Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 3 December 2008

image for Freddie Starr Eaten By Hamster
Not this one, obviously

Freddie Starr, the 'comedian' who was once reported by the Sun newspaper to have eaten a hamster, has, himself, become the unfortunate victim of one of the playful rodents, it has been rumoured.

Starr was sitting in the back garden of his home in Manchester, when his wife, Donna, 28 called to see if he wanted a cup of tea. She recounts what happened next:

"Well, he was sitting in a deckchair - he'd fallen asleep. I saw me chance...I mean, .. er.. well ... er this great big hamster-looking thing peered over the fence. I ran inside to put the meat cleaver back, and when I went outside, Freddie had gone, and the hamster thing was making its getaway."

Mr Starr has been 'happily' married for 12 years, and leaves 0 children and thousands of rubbish jokes.

Police thought about conducting a search for Starr, but decided not to bother.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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