Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 1 December 2008

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The Yankee Boys Will Play While Not in Season

Nothing good came from attempts to hide the unlikely relationship when the famous N.Y. Yankees hitter Alex Rodriguez, was seen off stage during a recent Madonna show.

Freaks, Greeks, and athletes with strong physique are the preferred boy-toys for the pop star that spins through sexual encounters like oversexed gerbils in a cramped Habitrail. Misplaced male metaphors included, Madonna had apparently popped a rod for A. Rod.

"She must get them by hypnosis or perhaps via some pheromone in her perfume", hypothesizes roadie and tour eunuch, Nevill "Nev" Erhader. "She looks a bit like a Collie with stretch marks and a bothersome gap in her teeth. Not sure about the fur though. I just don't see the attraction." When questioned further about A. Rod and other previous conquests, Erhader commented, "They meet her once and fall for her like tranquilized water buffalo. She must be a good conversationalist, that's all I can think of."

Cleaning out Madonna's trailer, Erhader was seen piling a bunch of yellow stained towels into laundry bags, and emptying trash cans full of chocolate and whipped cream containers. "I know she orders a lot of tossed salad for her and her male guests, but she must not like traditional salad dressings. Come to think of it, I've never seen any lettuce either, but whatever."

Asked if A. Rod will be joining Madonna on her extended tour, Erhader responded, "Well she usually orders these tubular balloons by the dozen to help celebrate their time together, and for this tour she only ordered 12 dozen. That usually means she only plans to celebrate for about 60 days."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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