DC Barry Hopper, the protagonist in David Hare's boring and over-analysed play, 'Murmuring Judges' is a raving loon and psychopath said, his former partner Abdul 'Jimmy' Khan.
"While he may be a figment of David Hare's lack of imagination, Barry Hopper is also a danger to the community", added the fictional Jimmy Khan.
"Barry is now a chief superintendent, but this position was only achieved through his own corruption and seething hatred of all man-kind, the man needs to be stopped !, added Jimmy Khan in a melodramatic and poorly delivered way.
"When I appeared in the book 'Murmuring Judges' with him I pretended to like him, as if I didn't he would give me wedges, wet willies, Chinese burns and bite me on the arm. I was terrified of him. He also used to pinch my lunch money and my wife. I hate him".
Former copper Sandra Bingham, 48, once secretly dated Barry Hopper said " He used informers, he planted evidence, he was a bent as a dog's hind leg. But when I tried to tell my then Chief Superintendent about Barry's corruption, he sent me away as he was too busy reading an article about a man fiddling with a Dolphin. So I left the police and opened up a 'youf centre for kidz with promblemz'.
Chief Superintendent Barry 'geezer' Hopper had this to say " You see, I am just pissin' great and the rest of the others characters in the book were a set of boring forgettable wankas. There just 'brahms' about my success. I admit to fittin' people up in the past, but they were all nonces, slags, heavies and tarts. Now fuck off while I go and shoot a couple of Brazilians and try to cover it up. Vindaloo, Vindaloo, we all love Vindaloo, we gonna score more goals than you......"
'Murmuring Judges' by David Hare, is a popular book studied at A'level in the UK. David Hare refused to comment on this ridiculous story, indicating his guilt at being 'NAMED and SHAMED.' "He is currently the most hated man in my head" said the author of this true, yet suprisingly false and fabricated story.