Written by Jesus Budda
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Wednesday, 26 November 2008

image for Hannah Montana Records Played Backwards Reveal Secret Satanic Mystery Message
Duck off - just one of the eeeeevil lyrics, probably

A toddler in New Mexico broke her Hannah Montana CD player and uncovered a dark secret hidden within the teen star's recordings: they include satanic rites.

Some of the recordings include evil cryptic messages such as "I'll fuck your toy cat" or "Your father's a lazy bastard".

The New Mexico toddler, after listening to the songs, apparently went around the house saying stuff such as "Momma, you've a fat ass and you smell like snot" and "the dog shit on the chair". This was all the more surprising for the fact that the child had never, ever spoken previously.

"She's clearly evil", said one terrified parent, "Wont somebody do something/ Won't somebody think of the children?!"

A spokesperson for Miley Cyrus - the real-life alter ego of Hannah Montana - said "Og kcuf flesruoy", which we later realised was another hidden, secret message.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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