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Tuesday, 25 November 2008

image for Celebrity TV? Keep it real, says Carling
Dancing for real

Former England rugby captain Will Carling has today blasted the comings and goings on the current crop of game shows. "The judging and comments by the so-called experts show they are out of touch with reality. I bet they wear blazers and live in Twickenham!" said Carling.

"Take Strictly Come Dancing. The public should decide who stays in and they'll vote for someone they can relate to, like John Sergeant. As my wife said "He's just like you; old, fat and lucked out with a good-looking blonde!" The judges though, seem to favour an ex-Rugby international with quick feet and good balance; who can relate to that? I know I can't!"

"The jungle thing is the same. They expect people to be attacked by small insects, Ant & Dec I think they're called. Well that's Ok. I can relate to that - a big Blobby thing attacked me once. You also have to eat horrible stuff; again, that's keeping it real, I, for instance, had to eat Quorn for a while. But then they spoil it by picking on a perfectly normal bloke for being just that. Poor old Timmy! Just because his boobs are real and he is a child in a middle-aged man's body. What's wrong with that?

"They are also obsessed with looks but Joe Public isn't glamorous, so why do the celebs have to be? I, for example, have a bum where my chin should be, but you make the best of it. Without it, I would never have been approached by Andy Ripley, Believe it or Not, who wants my picture for his exhibition. He's going to display it next to Cabinet Minister Ed Balls, who has testicles where his ears should be.

So leave the normal people alone - keep reality tv real!" concluded Carling.

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