Peter Mandelson, the MP who resigned from the government not once, but twice, over accusations that he was 'as bent as a nine-bob note', is to become the latest gay person to host a new BBC show which will cater for those with a tendency to bum men, called Strictly Come Mincing.
Mandelson, crowned Lord Mandelson recently, due to some horrible major oversight, spoke out in support of ousted Strictly Come Dancing contestant John Sergeant, saying that his departure from the show had been "regrettable".
"I was cheering for John Sergeant on Saturday with, I have to say, a degree of... envy."
Asked if he would star on the BBC show he joked: "It would be nice to be asked."
The BBC have, instead, offered Lord Mandelson a brand new show in which various celebrity gaylords will strut around a dancefloor with same-sex partners, receiving marks out of 10 for poise, gait, campness and overall star quality, which can mean just about anything, before the public vote by telephone to have one of the mincers excommunicated.
Possible contestants for the first series, to be screened some time next year, are Graham Norton, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Dale Winton, Craig Revel Horwood and Liverpool transvestite Paul O'Grady, if his heart lasts that long.