London - (Sorry Ass Mess): Is it Aids? Nah. But Wacko Jacko is playing the sicko card this week, refusing to attend a London lawsuit hearing on unspecified mental health grounds.
Legal aides at the Royal Courts of Justice have entered a plea that the singer 'is one sick bastard' as the official reason for his absence.
Jacko is being sued for £5 million by a Bahraini princeling who claims he broke a quasi prenup civil partnership contract for the two 'to make sweet music together'.
Jackson's legal team says the Bahraini 'was always far too old and ugly' for anything other than a quickie blow-job on the back of a camel, the desert's equivalent of a 'hump in the backseat of Chevvy.'
Royal attorney Banki M Thanki is getting paid £911 per hour.