Written by Eddy Dubois
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Sunday, 16 November 2008

image for Angelina Jolie in Incontinence Shocker!
It's granny pants for Angelina!

Brad Pitt has reportedly revealed to his back stabbing Doctor (who sold us this report for three trillion dollars, and to Hello! for 16 zillion) that Angelina Jolie has developed an incontinence problem.

'It's terrible' Brad reportedly told the Doc, 'every time Angelina laughs, or even giggles, God forbid a chuckle! She pees herself'.

According to the Doc, having twins, although a joyous occasion for the Brangelina Pitt-Jolies, resulted in this embarrassing after effect. 'I mean, these bubbers were HUGE chubbers' say the Doc...'I've seen some stretched out lips in my day, but this was like seeing the space shuttle squeeze through a wedding ring!!'.

Fortunately for the Jolie-Pitts, the waterfalls only occur when she emits vocal amusement.

'It's terrible' said Brad to the Doc....'I cannot express how detrimental this is to our relationship...I mean, I'm not allowed to find anything funny....for fear of amusing Angelina, we only watch horror movies and thrillers now. The other night she had an amusing dream, woke up laughing, and gushed all over my Prada jim-jams!'.

The Doc says that it's not great for the kids either...'according to Brad, they were in some refugee camp in Malanzenya, Angelina was standing over Shiloh as she played with a Jackals dried turd, when she saw this shrivelled old African lady fall over and impale herself on a plantain. She literally pissed herself laughing, and pissed all over Shiloh at the same time. Shiloh was not amused'.

Brad at this moment is in Milan with Dolce and Gabanna helping them to design a pair of D&G sequinned granny knickers for Angelina.

Eddy Dubois reporting for The Spoof.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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