According to our sources within the CIA, a clandestine meeting was held in the foothills of Nevada between US secret agents and the species of Alien frequently referred to as 'The Greys'.
Our sources reveal that the Greys are highly telepathic, and had come to Earth in order to make arrangements for the deportation and subsequent dumping of Madonna.
The agents representing Earth were dumbfounded as to why the Greys thought that this was an appropriate action and one deemed worthy of such a dangerous and secretive mission.
Apparently, the Greys have been picking up on huge globally encompassing telepathic waves of thought, emanating from Earth, of Madonna being transported to and dumped on an Alien planet. They revealed that they were dumbfounded as to why the Earth agents thought this to be a futile and risible mission, 'after all' said the lead Grey, 'it is the majority will and desire of your people'.
No word has yet been received as to the outcome of this mission.
Madonna declined to comment (our readers will be amazed to hear), but The Spoof can concur, that globally her popularity in this instance, (as Madonna once reportedly screamed at her soon to be ex-husband Guy) is indeed.... 'bigger than fucking Jesus'.
Eddy Dubois reporting for The Spoof.