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Thursday, 13 November 2008

image for Winslet Upset at Airbrushed Bush
Winslet: No need to airbrush my tw*t

London - Kate Winslet, an adamant PETA proponent, is livid at Vanity Fair magazine after her coverphoto shoot, seen in this month's issue.

Apparently the airbrush allegations that the magazine is defending are true.

Winslet appeared on this month's cover, uncovered sitting on her fur. As she likes to keep it.
Her advocacy of 'liberated fur' was written throughout her contract. Unlike the currant trend of bald or designer shaved mons venus, (pubic area), like so many actresses, (and actors), have sported. (i.e. Brittany Spears, Lindsey Lohan), Ms. Winslet keeps hers natural. Enough to say is substantial, as this reporter has seen the original, unretouched, money shots.

"All we did was touch her touché up," says Clive Lame of Vanity Fair's digital art department, "there was such unruly, tangled growth, well it could have been braided."

Ms. Winslet insisted, in solidarity with PETA policy on fur, that her hedge growth be revealed as it were, not retouched.

Said Winslet lawyers, "My client has international exposure of her tw*t, through her movies, web sites, utube, this airbrushing totally confuses the public to her pubis. It's blurring of product identification."

"It's my fault, really. I never saw the specifics of her contract. I mean, there must have been six inches of matted entanglement, I just assumed," said Mr. Lame.

Winslet is seeking reparations to her image from Vanity Fair . She seeks a full 'spread' resolution, (high resolution) revealing the full extent of her PETA fur commitment, perhaps in the January issue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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