Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 12 November 2008

image for I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here Set To Be Gayest Yet
Homodelicacy - inserted rectally

ITV has announced its contestant list for the jungle endurance show I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, and with both ex-tennis star Martina Navratilova, and George Takei of Star Trek, this year's competition is set to be the gayest so far.

Takei, or 'Mr Sulu', married his long-term bum chum Brad Altman in September, and said that he would be suited to the jungle style, as he had eaten the Japanese delicacy, live fish, in the past. He also said he had tasted the homosexual delicacy, live Conger Eel, during his honeymoon.

Navratilova said that she had once been so hungry, that she had 'munched carpet'.

They will be joined by Esther Rantzen, Robert Kilroy-Silk, EastEnder Joe Swash and ex-Blue singer Simon Webbe, who could all easily be gay.

Swash should be up to the task, as he lives with Keith Miller in Albert Square, and a stint in the jungle should be a piece of piss in comparison.

TV presenter Dani Behr will appear, and to bolster the feeling of Bentness, the producers have also invited former police chief Brian Paddick.

Viewers will be able to watch the show around the clock, if they can stand it, or catch the highlights on a DVD which will be in shops sooner than you can possibly imagine.

William Shatner, Star Trek's Captain Kirk, reacted to news that Takei had been selected for inclusion, said:

"They want that gay Jap, but they don't want me?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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