Written by Steddyeddy
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Tuesday, 11 November 2008

image for Sir Cliff sues dementia charity because of music career slur
Sir Cliff receives his OBE from the King

Sir Cliff Richard, one of the UK's most-loved, if not one of the oldest music swingers, with a music career and thousands of hits spanning three centuries, is livid with the director of the UK Dementia Society.

In a statement issued today by an irate Sir Cliff, he states that he will almost certainly sue for the slur the charity made on he and his fellow musicians from the Shadows.

It seems that launching their annual fundraising efforts, the director of the UK Dementia Society, Dr Pete Zatoppings, said in his address to the press that "dementia in the UK has been in the shadows for years".

Sir Cliff, along with fellow Shadows members Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch, Brian Bennett and the late George Harrison (who wasn't actually in the Shadows but was nevertheless a good friend of Sir Cliff), all took extreme exception to this statement, defending the Shadows and issuing their own rebuttal saying that dementia had NEVER featured in the Shadows during all the years they were in the band. Or at least not at any time they could remember. Well ok, Jet Harris may have forgotten the odd drum roll or two, but they were so odd they were worth forgetting.

While Sir Cliff did admit that group guitarist Hank Marvin never sang much, he explained that this was because Hank couldn't really sing, not because he might have forgotten the words. He said: "if anything, it's the public who forget how popular the wotsits, you know, the group we've been talking about, oh bugger I've forgotten their name. Anyway, yes, er, how popular they are."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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