Written by Kevin Page
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Tuesday, 11 November 2008

CNN is in disarray after it was discovered that Wolfie Blitzen is not a hologram.

On US election night CNN used absurd gimmickry to attempt to breathe life into their pathetic "The Situation Room". At the end of the night they attempted to switch off Wolfie but he wouldn't disappear.

On condition of anonymity, a CNN insider told us "This is a disaster. We thought he was a hologram of a comical homeless hobo who we could just turn off. But now we find out that he is a real person and we can't get rid of him. We are encouraging viewers not to watch him anymore. Hopefully he will get the message and go away".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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