Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 10 November 2008

image for John Sergeant Leaves Strictly Come Dancing In 'Controversial Circumstances'
Drama at Broadcasting House

John Sergeant, the Granny's Heartthrob of Strictly Come Dancing, has left the show tonight, in a surprise move that is steeped in controversy.

Sergeant, who has been the subject of more than 300,000 complaint phone calls and texts to the show, is regarded as being the worst dancer in the competition, but regularly progresses to the next round, thanks to a sympathetic public vote.

This afternoon though, entertainment executives met for an extraordinary meeting which lasted until 7.45pm. When that meeting ended, a statement was circulated, informing fans of the show that 70-year-old Sergeant had decided to leave forthwith.

The statement read:

"In light of the enormous volume of viewer complaints we received, it has been decided, in the interest of all concerned, that that John Sergeant and his partner Kristina Rihanoff should take no further part in the competition. They will definitely be going home tonight.

"John and Kristina would like to thank all of their fans for their warm messages of support, and for the wonderful reception with which their performances are always greeted."

Other dancers welcomed the news with sighs of relief, and host Bruce Forsyth said:

"He didn't do well!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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