With the celebrities already lined up for this season's I wish I was a celebrity get me into there announced, ITV are having to back track as several of the big names pull out when it is revealed they have to talk to Ant and Dec.
Scam, the lead singer of a punk group from Aberystwyth, was the first to leave, leaving many asking who he was. The brother of Robbie Williams' ex-girlfriend, Jon Tomas, quickly followed suit, announcing that fame and fortune were not all they were cracked up to be. Esther Rantzen, possible the only household name in the jungle this year, is seriously considering her options, despite the doubling of her fee, and the assurance she will do nothing more taxing than grading a potato.
Emergency talks are now ongoing with other 'major names' in the world of fame, with some excitement about possible replacements. Morph, from the hit TV show, Hart Attack, is one of the names being bandied about, though the Cheeky Girls' Aunt Jessie has refused to go to Australia due to the injunction against her there.
David Guest has approached ITV to return to the jungle, but was turned down by a horror-stricken producer. It may be that he is not needed if the deal with David Gedge comes off. The lead singer with the biggest band no one has heard of, The Wedding Present, could take a break from his Scout Huts tour to go into the Jungle. Failing that, ITV will be looking toward Dweeb Nerdle, the web designer at ITV to go in his place.