Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Jonathan Ross

Thursday, 6 November 2008

image for Jonathan Ross's clairvoyant wife forsees trouble after 'Satanic Sluts' furor
Seeing red: Mrs Ross is prescient about these things

London - (Ross/Russ Mess): Jane Goldman, the 44DD-38-44 flame-haired professional psychic/clairvoyant wife of suspended BBC TV chatshow host Jonathan Ross is seeing red.

A recent paranormal hunch that the Russell Brand 'Satanic Sluts' fiasco is not yet over was confirmed this week when local NW3 dogwalkers reported some interesting graffiti carved on a gnarly ancient oak near the Hampstead Heath Ladies Pond.

The gist of these scrawlings alleges that Goldman, 38, is probably the birth mother of Ms Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie, 23, former paramour of feckless kiss-n-tell comic Russell Brand.

Goldman first met Ross in 1986 and married him two year later aged 18.

Her Living Channel paranormal series, Jane Goldman Investigates, is a runaway smash-hit in terms of the £££s contract that is now supporting the Ross family.

Hampstead Garden Suburb residents once claimed that Goldman booted Russell Brand out of the Ross residence garage after finding him dossed down during a crack-fuelled binge-out one weekend.

The iconic comic is said to be clean and serene one day at a time since at least October.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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