Written by Jesus Budda
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Tuesday, 4 November 2008

image for Miley Cyrus wears a colostomy bag when Touring
Miley's swears by using a colsotomy bag on stage. In fact she just swears a lot anyways

Teen sensation Miley Cyrus has abandoned all the usual celebrity shit by telling an interviewer her most intimate detail: that she wears a colostomy bag while on tour.

The unbelievably popular singer/actress never gets time to have a proper dump while running about on stage, doing photo shoots and generally getting in peoples faces.

"I'm a very busy girl. I don't have time to crap like civilians would. That's why I wear my dead grandma's colostomy bag", she giggles.

Indeed, the extra time Miley manages to keep on stage instead of in the bathroom means she can earn a whooping $40 million than what other non-colostomy bag wearing celebrities do.

Toy manufacturers are already adding a little, tiny colostomy bag accessory onto the latest Hannah Montana doll to be shipped before Christmas.

But its not all fun an games, as Miley relates:

"It's really awkward moving about on stage with a plastic bag loaded full of week-old excrement sloshing about between your thighs", she moans, "especially when I gotta smile into the camera and do the splits for the kids in the front row."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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