Written by Jesus Budda
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Tuesday, 4 November 2008

image for Madonna says she's not returning Guy's penis
Guy want's that penis back so that he can feel it rub agianst the naked bodies of men he enjoys wrestling with

Pop superstar Madonna has said that she is definitely not going to give up husband Guy Ritchie's penis without a fight.

The 50 year old singer said that her soon to be former husband never even used the appendage during their marriage - which leaves serious questions to be answered about the paternity of their son Stinko.

A spokesman for the 'Lock Stock and Two Smokin' Barrels' film director says that Ritchie wants his penis back for "urination" and "to fill out his Calvin Klein's" while engaging in deeply masculine naked Grco-Roman wrestling sessions at the stately country pad he 'bought' using Madonna's money.

Many feel that Madonna's lawyers have instructed their client to hold 'tightly' onto the penis as a bargaining 'tool' to prevent Ritchie from trying to 'squeeze' extra funds in a divorce settlement from his much wealthier and famous wife.

Others just think that Madonna is having to much fun using the cock herself.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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