Prime Minister Gordon Brown is to make a concerted attempt to improve his public image, and to make himself appear credible to the electorate by making a special guest appearance on vehicle makeover show, Pimp My Ride.
Brown is to be assisted in his self-promotion by master of the art, show host, DJ Tim Westwood, son of designer, Vivienne, and brother of golfer, Lee.
Mr Brown, who has been falling behind to the Tories' David Cameron in the popularity stakes recently, and desperately needs to improve his image, has been advised by Labour spin doctors that the way to the British voters' hearts, is through their cars.
The PM drives a 1972 green Volkswagen Beetle which is in desperate need of pimping, confirmed by DJ Westwood who said:
"Good God, Gordon! This ride ain't so hot! Y' got me, Baby?"
Mr Brown said last night that he is looking forward to having his ride pimped, and to meeting Mr Westwood who, outside of his 'Homeys', it's claimed, is even less popular than the Prime Minister.
Westwood, who is white, but speaks as if he wishes he was black, has been stabbed several times, and is going the right way about getting stabbed again. He 'said':
"Pimp that Big, Gordy!"
What people said about Westwood:
Snoop Dogg: "You can't come to the kingdom and not see the prince."
Pharrell Williams: "You don't know, it's all about mother fucking Westwood."
Nelson George: "The gatekeeper of UK Hip Hop."
Eminem: "I'm a big fan of Tim. The guy is a one-off. No one does what he does."
Wycleff: "Everybody wants someone when they blow up. But he takes an artist before anybody knows who they are and blows them up. He had my back even before The Fugees, you know what I'm saying? Shade is just shade. Tim is hip hop through and through.
Pharrell Williams: "The people who don't know him don't know nothing. Fuck them. Westwood. Radio One. Everyone else get your shit together."
Monkey Woods: "What kind of accent is that, you freak?"