Jonathan Ross, suspended from all of his BBC work this week after becoming the 'innocent victim' in the Russell Brand/Andrew Sachs prank phone call incident, has some good news to celebrate today, after the Beeb announced they are to give him his very own channel - BBC Ross.
Ross, who earns so much money, that it cannot be counted by humans, was given the news this morning, after BBC bosses met to decide what to do to stop the irrational TV and radio presenter from "throwing his dummy out of his pram".
Executives claimed that, as the call had been made by Brand, who had now resigned (sacked), and Ross suspended to placate the baying Licence-payers, the way was now clear to establish a totally new and separate TV channel for 'that kind of humour'.
The new channel will be devoted to Ross-style humour, with juvenile pranks, comments that are controversial-for-the-sake-of-it, uninteresting celebrity interviews full of 'knowing glances with raised eyebrows', flicking his hair, pouting, and letting everyone know how much he knows about films as well as egotistical self-advertising for the lanky ex-Last Resort impressario.
In short, Everything Ross.
Gullible viewers who enjoy this sort of shit will also be able to watch whenever they like, as BBC Ross will be broadcast 24 hours per day. Even when the star has to eat, sleep or take a crap, the cameras will keep rolling, so that not a single moment of great big Bad Boy Jonathan Ross's wonderfully entertaining life is missed.