Kensington-based publishers "Snide, Fortune and Nozubstanz", have been accused by an increasingly cynical tabloid media today of 'scraping the burrell' regarding the publishing of Royalty-related books.
According to the tabloid press, who were unable to make up any headline puns except for 'scraping the burrell', the publishing of former Royal Butler Paul Burrell's 473 page book "The History of Princess Diana's Toe Clippings" has been deemed a complete failure, despite winning an award at the annual "Gooterpress Literary Awards", held in Birmingham and sponsored by a famous brand of toilet tissue.
The experts, chosen only because of their expertise, were judging book weight, appropriateness in view of the sponsorship, and the colour of the cover. "The History of Princess Diana's Toe Clippings" had no trouble in meeting the criteria, especially in relation to toilet tissue.
Three months after its publication, it has sold only nineteen copies, eighteen of them to people with the surname "Burrell". However, the judges felt it was a fabulous testament to the rarely covered subject of toenail clippings, royal or otherwise.
Paul Burrell was said to be completely obnoxious.