Plans were announced today for the release of Arthur Pewty - The musical.
West end producer Andrew Lloyd Shredder said that an outline had been prepared and that casting would begin shortly, and that the show should be hitting the provinces early next year.
A spokesperson for Bar Locks Productions (actually some blonde bird with gravity defying tits) stated:
'This story has everything, Arthur Pewty the feared Neasden gangster who, and get this, harbours affection for his pet cats, whose family detest him, who drives Jimmy Bacon into states of apoplexy, and who was recently arrested on suspicion of the murder of Liam out of Coronation Street, and who Kim Jong Il of North Korea is shit scared of, tries to be Mister Nice Guy.
'This is musical magic. Just like blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce another roller in the night. Don't bring me down, gross. This shit is gold dust.'
Abba are reportedly scratching the eyes out of the Brotherhood of Man for performing rights.
Tickets are already selling like hot cakes on e-bay.
More from Arthur Pewty as we get it.