Slippery Rock, PA-- Madonna ended her pathetic 'Stinky and Sweaty' tour today at the Slippery Rock Arena. No one bothered to show up for the free concert anyway. The has-been whore had no plans for the future. Her husband, Guy Smegma, is also divorcing her and she is giving up show biz for good.
Sources say the divorce was caused by her precocious son Rock-o. The boy was surfing the internet and found some startling information on his mother. Rock-o asked his father what 'fellatio' meant and if his mother really performed fellatio on the New York Nets. The curious kid also wanted to know why his mother's name was always linked with words like slut, hooker and prostitute. Guy Smegma says he will he take his son to counseling and "sue that whore for every penny."
The whore is question was flat broke in Slippery Rock and had to work the bus station crowd for her dinner. Madonna finally got lucky and found a bus driver who gave her a free ride to Philly for a blow job. Madonna says she plans to live in Philadelphia the rest of her life and collect welfare.
"It wasn't too much fun at the end of my career." mumbled the talentless moron through semen-stained dentures. "I guess that's it." she said, as she stumbled away into the night.