Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 16 October 2008

image for Tom Cruise Is Not Dead, Despite Internet Rumors
Not Tom Cruise

Despite internet rumors to the contrary, the agent for Tom Cruise confirmed that the actor is not dead and did not suffer a fatal fall while mountain climbing in New Zealand. He said that Cruise is in New York City right now with his wife and daughter for the opening of a play on Broadway.

In addition, the agent said that Cruise as pining for the fjords and was just tired.

He also stated that Cruise was not even mostly dead.

When told that her husband was still alive, despite rumors to the contrary, his wife tugged at her leash and just shook her head.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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