Madison, Wisconsin (The Badger Herald) - Ignoring an indefinite suspension that stemmed from allegations of severe misconduct, the University of Wisconsin Marching Badger Band has decided to re-form as the Band Formerly Known as the University of Wisconsin Marching Badger Band.
"I miss the band too damn much," said marching baritone player Hugh Phonium. "This past week has not been easy. Without the band my life has little meaning."
In the wake of the disestablishment of the band, a number of vocal critics have accused University officials of ruining the Badgers' heavily-touted football program.
"Nobody realizes how much the football players rely on our band," explained band director Mike Leckrone. "Especially our bagpipers."
Dean of Students Lorry Berquam has launched a full investigation into the band's former conduct to be led by the Hague Tribunal. Accusations include: acting like a bunch of rowdy college students and hazing. A few members admit they were forced to eat something gross (possibly chutney).