Frustrating TheSpoof.com staff writers one more time, Jamie Lynn Spears and her press agents have managed to issue statements so bizarre, as to render all amateur comedic journalists speechless.
In parallel magazine articles released this Wednesday, friends and insiders from the Spears camp had suggested that the 17 year old was not only pregnant again, but had cancelled wedding plans with her sexually active, sperm-laden boyfriend and the father of her first child, Casey Aldridge.
Writers who make a living, or at least pass the time by drumming up ridiculous and barely believable spoof stories about the Hollywood elite, were at a complete loss for story ideas on Jamie Lynn this week. Reluctantly admitting that "nothing tops the truth when it comes to that trailer trash ho", one senior editorial staffer followed with, "You just can't make this shit up."
"It's a sad day for teenage girls the world over, when a no-talent, morally bereft, non-voting, pregnant, un-married, millionaire pixie and media whore becomes a role model", Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin said in response to the Jamie Lynn story.
Other notable parents also offered comments to TheSpoof.com after the Spears story broke this afternoon. Joe Simpson, father to Jessica and Ashlee was interviewed following a meeting with his parole officer.
"At least my girls are more responsible than that", Papa Joe said. "With my 17 year old Ashlee and her boyfriend Pete Wentz, you can tell its true love. I look forward to becoming a positive influence on my first grandchild."
There. That last paragraph felt pretty good. "Next!"