Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 6 October 2008

image for Britney Spears Poses for Madame Tussot's Wax Museum
Static Electricity Takes Over Spears Head in a Recent Concert

Britney Spears has finally agreed to sign a contract for the formal pose and measurement process to enter the famous wax museum exhibit.

Madame Tussot museum curator, Hans Sticken discussed the process with "E" Entertainment News over the weekend. "The pictures and live measurements we take of Britney allow for us to create a true lifelike representation. Using the pictures available to us on the Internet alone would have led to a less than complimentary result. 2007 was a rough year for Brit."

Spears public relations handler, Howie Bendem comments, "We felt that this was the right time to have Ms. Spears take her rightful place in entertainment history. She is truly in a good place mentally and physically and this is how we want the public to remember her."

Spears had been offered the opportunity in early 2007 but had declined. Wax molding engineer Morey Paraffin offers a slightly different perspective on Spears' timing. "If she sat for us last year, I doubt that we would have had enough wax to fill the mold. Geez, what a porker. Now if she sucks in her gut just a little, we should be able to get the job done."

The photo and measurement process which typically takes more than 4 hours was cut short when Spears found out who her statue would be placed next to in the Museum. Normally protected information, Sticken let it slip that she was to be placed in the "Young Female Rock" section next to J-Lo and Christina Aguilera. "Me with Jenny from the block and a Mouseketeer wannabe? I don't think so. Britney gets her own stage, Britney gets her own spotlight, and Britney gets bigger boobs too". Spears proclaimed in third person.

While Spears stormed out of the studio, Bendem continued with damage control, begging the engineers and artists to continue on without their model and do the best they could. The unveiling of Britney's statue is scheduled 3 weeks from this Friday. Morey Paraffin told reporters, "Well, the head looks pretty accurate, but the rear on the other hand was taken from old pictures. She kind of looks like a pear, or the bottom half of Rosie O'Donnell on a good day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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