A Panpipe CD of the hits of Metallica is currently sitting pretty at number 3 in the charts.
This shows a nadir in the health of the country's record buying habits, for this is normally the type of music that people complain about in Supermarkets.
Mr Peter Andre, (no relation to Jordan's Husband) told us: 'Now, normally, I love Metallica, but my wife can't stand them. She loves Pan Pipes, but I hate them, but this album seems like the perfect solution. I get to hear music I love played on an instrument I hate, whilst she gets to hear music she hates played on an instrument she loves. It is a match made in aural heaven. Personally, I can't wait for the tour. We will both be going to that'
At Number 45 is a fingernails and blackboards treatment of the work of favourite Cockney Rhyming Slang figure, James Blunt. Never has his work sounded less annoying.