Stupid magician David Blaine was today being sued under the trades description act after his "Dive of Death" didn't cause his untimely death.
Literally dozens of fans waited until the end of his stunt to see him "dive to his death." When this didn't happen, several audience members lodged complaints with the Magicians Guild that Blaine had cheated them of the satisfaction of seeing him plunge to his death.
Disappointed members of the public wandered away as a healthy looking Blaine was lowered from his bat-like battiness to the ecstatic applause of a blind man named Tom who thought he was a terrorist being arrested.
An eminent psychologist today claimed that Blaine may be suffering from a bizarre version of Munchausens called "Shit Munchausens" where the victim attempts increasingly pathetic stunts to keep themselves in the public eye.
Fellow sufferers Jade Goody, Kerry Katona and Gordon Brown refused to comment on the claims.
David Blaine has stated that his next "magic trick" will involve a monster truck being driven straight up his Magic Circle which will be entitled " Burning Ring Of Fire" but won't involve either fire. death or quite possibly, an audience.