Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Topics: BNP, Models, On The Buses

Sunday, 21 September 2008

image for Olive from "On the Buses" is typical English Rose says BNP poll
"Olive" from "On the Buses" is typical "English Rose" says BNP

Members of the BNP have recently voted sultry "Olive" from the hit seventies sit-com "ON THE BUSES" the traditional British Beauty.

"Hollywood blasted"

Members of the party blasted the media and Hollywood for "brain-washing" UK women into following a stereotyped-surgery enhanced version of a real woman.

"Enormous Bristols"

Margot Hardacre the fashion editor of the BNP magazine stated " Many of our members look like Olive and they are beautiful. The so-called fashion icons that girls follow today, pump their lips too large, make their eyes too almond shaped and give themselves enormous bristols. This is all very unnatural to the British woman. Our extensive research on wikipedia proves that Brit girls in the Middle-Ages looked more like the seventies stunner Olive".

"Arfur was a bald-headed beast"

She added the "British women have been brain-washed to think Olive is ugly, simply because her balding work-shy, commie husband didnt want to make love to her. Arfur frequently banned 'shapely' Olive from taking off her 'nightie' or taking out her 'curlers' for sessions of marital fornication. In reality she was too good for him and he was probably a very inadequate and miserable lover. In the film 'Holiday on the Buses', Arfur falsely claimed Olive looked 'practically obscene ' in her tiny bikini, but it is clear to all she is a stunner with normal-sized British knockers".

"Olive Power"

The BNP woman added when they get into power they will be flooding UK commercials with "British Beauties" like Olive. When asked if they would use models like 'Olive' for their fashion shows most of the top "mincing" celebrity designers stated they would prefer to use " Inspector Blake" or "Blakey" as a model over Olive.

'Blakey is new British Supermodel'

One lisping pious designer added "if 'Blakey' shaved of his little moustache the 'willowy statuesque' bus man could even feature in the new 'Marks and Spencers' commercial with Twiggy and other models that we will never remember".

" 'BNP Stunner' Olive had very thick jam-jar bottom glasses, lank-hair and funny rabbit teeth"

When told the news the BNP woman said "all designers are 'limp-wristed', 'poofie' and 'too foreign' to have any common sense". She then placed her red-faced chubby baby on the potty and started devouring pickled onions.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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