The Queen has said that having Andrew Motion in the post of Poet Laureate has put her 'right orf' poetry for good and that she was only trying to do the 'ungrateful b'ard' a favour.
After hearing Motion complain that writing for the Royals caused him a serious case of writer's block, Her Majesty was heard to mutter, "I'm sure we can find writer's block somewhere below". Motion also complains that he never got any feedback from the Queen although she insists she would have been only to happy to say what she really thought but she didn't trust herself not to crack up because the name 'Motion' was just too apt.
"This has been very, very damaging to my 'work' and I can't possibly write any words except for shedloads of cash"- said the egocentric,precious and ungrateful clown.*
Motion expects to be DISCHARGED from his duties as soon as can be done discreetly. Ladbrokes are offering 2000000-1 on a Spoof writer becoming the next Poet Laureate.
(* Excerpt from Her Majesty's first publication 'Anyone Can Easily Do Poems Oneself!")