Written by Elliott Peters
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Monday, 8 September 2008

image for Andrew Lloyd Webber Disses Charles Dickens
Andrew Lloyd Webber in mid conversation

Musical composer Andrew Lloyd Webber has ended up in hot water again after remarks made in a recent BBC interview.

Talking about his most recent BBC showcase in which cheap labour was scouted and cast for his presentation of the classic Lionel Bart musical "Oliver!", Webber said, "I think Oliver! didn't connect half as well with the public because neither had I wrote Oliver! or was I producing it."

Spokesman for the CDF - the Charles Dickens Foundation - R.E.Rumbold told us "This is outrageous. How dare Mr Webber imply that he is a better writer than Charles Dickens. Dickens' work has timeless appeal and is read by millions across the globe and here we have some toffee nosed twat slating 'Oilver Twist' because he didn't write it. He doesn't complain about the profits he grosses from it though. How many books has Webber written? It is a total insult to the Dickens legacy and a kick in the teeth to the memory of Lionel Bart. The ego of this pompous Tory twat knows no bounds".

Webber (67) who is currently working on "Phantom 2" a follow up to "The Phantom Of The Opera", (another story he didn't write) is no stranger to controversy. He has been accused of plagiarism countless times but because he gives generous backhanders to the British Government to ensure he can take over every theatre in London, not a single case has ever made it to a courtroom.

Rumbold also said, "The audacity of Webber never fails to stagger me. Whatever he stages, his name is in much larger letters than everybody else implying that he wrote classic works as 'Phantom', 'The Bible', 'The Sound Of Music' and now 'Oliver Twist'. I'm aware of the many allegations of plagiarism that have been thrown at him and it is clear to me that Mr Webber does not have a single original idea in his big fat head."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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