Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 5 September 2008

image for Big Brother Blind Mikey Falls Down Stairs On Way Out Of House
Was it murder? Big Brother I mean!

The finale of Big Brother 9 was as controversial as the rest of the series tonight, when, in the Final round, Big Brother Blind Mikey was evicted and fell down the BB stairs!

Dressed in a ridiculous Clint Eastwood-style poncho, Mikey, the 33-year-old Radio Producer from Ayrshire, tumbled to the foot of the steep stairs, and lay in a heap on the stage.

Host Davina McCall told viewers:

"Oh my God! He's fallen! Get the medics!"

Fortunately, Mikey was unhurt, but was still quoting from the Health & Safety Executive Handbook on 'unsafe working practices' as he was led away to be debriefed in front of a hand-picked studio audience.

He expounded at length about eventual winner Rachel, and how he 'loved' her, and then, having recovered from his shock, accused McCall and Channel 4 of trying to murder him.

The Scot shouted into the microphone:

"Yuhl be hearrring from ma bluhdy solicitorrr!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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