Ever since her infamous kiss with Madonna, Britney Spears is said to have longed for another passionate moment with an aged woman.
According to her mother, who also recently wrote about her daughter's troubled early years, Britney has developed a dangerous fetish chasing women of over 70 years of age.
Her mother feels as though old hag Dame Judi would be the most appropriate role model and sleeping partner for Britney, as Judi is a "milf" and would no doubt help Britney find her way.
Britney, somewhat disturbingly, wants to "lick" Dame Dench. Greasy Dench has agreed, and a date will be confirmed very soon as to when this will happen, with the MTV VMA's the favourite date for both women.