Written by Bill Skywalker
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Topics: Music, Kaiser Chiefs

Thursday, 4 September 2008

image for Kaiser Chiefs And Ronson Arrested!
NASA have requested to burn all Kaiser singles in the sun

British music is today mourning the decline of one of it's most popular yet shit bands, The Kaiser Chiefs after the band were arrested alongside producer Mark Ronson for "shitting the music industry up".

The fall from grace comes after their release of what was a quite awful single called "Never Miss A Beat" which lyrics include "never miss a beat, never miss a beat, never miss a beat, never miss a beat, never miss a beat, never miss a beat..."

After releasing it to the public two weeks ago approximately 100% of BBC Radio 1 listeners declared in a poll that the song was "about as good and enjoyable as being diagnosed with AIDS". Singer Ricky Wilson responded saying "but we've got Mark Ronson on our side" to which point the poll actually increased to 110%.

Ronson, Wilson and those other guys are expected to appear in court later this month for allegations related to "raping and dumping the body of British music". If found guilty they will be sentenced to death by listening to "Cheeky Girls ft. Tweenies" ironically one of Ronson's and Chiefs influences.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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