Written by Ben Macnair
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Tuesday, 2 September 2008

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The first step in shouting is..........

The Brian Blessed school of acting in Accrington Stanley shut its doors for the last time today.

The school, opened by Brian Blessed the famous mountain climber, actor, and shouter was the first performing arts school in Accrington in 1970. A down turn in people needing to bellow has done for the school, leaving Blessed a broken and humbled man.

The weepy Thespian said: 'I had all of that support from Kenny Branagh, a grant from the Arts Council to keep expanding on my classes in basic shouting, it was all going so well. But now, thanks to this Blessed Credit Crunch the people in Accrington Stanley will no longer learn how to bellow properly.

'It is a tragedy, I know that for sure.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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