The attempts of House Wives favourite Cliff Richard to have a number one hit song in six decades has to be thwarted, to save the world from imminent disaster, says a worried man.
Mr Harry Webb, who has been locked in a cellar for years, since Cliff Richard became famous told us: 'Cliff Richard must be stopped. He is my evil side made flesh. It is like if the picture of Dorian Grey had come to life, and taken over. He locked me in the cellar, and you are the first people I have spoken to in a long while. It is like in Superman 3, where the bad side is running amok, and the good side has to wrestle for supremacy, and to make things right again. I just need the chance to prove myself. Is that really too much to ask?'
Cliff Richard's songs include 'Devil Woman', 'Miseltoe and Wine' 'Move it' and one called 'Why should the Devil have all the good tunes?' as a ploy to put us of his nefarious schemes.
Take this man at his word. Do not under any circumstances buy the new single from Cliff Richard. The whole world depends on it!