Written by Morgan Truce
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Saturday, 8 October 2005

The FOX Network announced a new reality TV show for the fall lineup. Each weekly episode will feature a well known Hollywood or small screen celebrity traveling to a different city or location and having sex with the ordinary folks who happen to live there.

Fox executives were slow to warm up to the concept, but after two pilot episodes featuring Madonna visiting the Omaha stockyards and Johnny Depp in a weekend at a large shopping mall in New Jersey, everyone was sure they had a hot ticket to big fall TV ratings. FOX producers have been looking at TV viewer polls and demographics that show that the average TV viewer's biggest complaint in life is that they can only watch sexy stars on the tube. Now this is all about to change!

It is rumored that Salma Hayek, Jon Stewart, Bebe Neuwirth, Benicio Del Toro, and the Bush twins are among the celebrities scheduled to appear this fall. The locations, however, are being kept top secret to avoid pandemonium.

Hollywood is buzzing with a long list of celebrities that FOX has determined would NOT appear on the new show. The list includes: Roseanne Barr, OJ Simpson, Harriet Miers, Gwyneth Paltrow, Billy Joel, Ricky Martin, Jeb Bush, and Jerry Lewis.


Relax... you won't be obligated to
hop into bed with Harriet or Jerry!

A source at Fox says that the celebrity and the location will be announced on air just one hour before the show---just to make sure that a reasonably sized crowd of people shows up for the televised sex.

Locations being considered are Altoona, PA, Fort Polk, LA, Northway Junction, AK, and Bald Knob, WV. If you are one of the people lucky enough to be living in one of those locations, get yourself ready for the time of your life!

Stay tuned!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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