Written by Monkey Woods

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Topics: BBC, Eastenders, Knife

Friday, 29 August 2008

image for Latest London Stabbing Death: EastEnders Jase Dyer Loses Fight For Life
There's sumfin' you ain't tellin' me

The growing list of gang-related stabbing deaths grew one name longer on Thursday when unshaven Jase Dyer of EastEnders was brutally murdered in his own house in Albert Square, Walford. He was only an unknown age.

Dyer had been on the run from a criminal gang from whom he had been stealing money, and, after they had caught up with him, there was only going to be one way the episode was going to end. And it did.

It's the 27th knife-related murder in the capital this year, but the first to be included in a TV soap. Viewers watched in mock-horror as the droning Manc was slit from armpit-to-armpit, and chin-to-bollox, leaving his organs splayed asunder.

Mr Dyer leaves a son, Jay, a bride-to-be, Dawn, and a set of cheap carpenter's tools.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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