Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 25 August 2008

image for American Idol Increases To Four Judges
The newest judge likes the early rounds best, because "them folks dress up funny sometimes."

American Idol judging, long the sole property of Randy, Simon, and Paula, will include a fourth voice at the beginning of the new season. In a show that was originally designed for four judges, say creators and producers, they have gotten by with only three for seven seasons. That will soon change with the latest addition.

The newest series regular is no stranger to music. They will also be a person that will bring their own unique personality and flavor to the show, in an attempt to balance out Simon's sarcastic comments, Randy's wanna be gangster slang, and Paula's drunken complimentary behaviour.

The new judge? Soon to be ex-President George W. Bush has agreed to fill that chair.

In a private interview, he offered the following, typical Bush style dis-jointed comments:

"This must be almost like being on the Supreme Court. "

"If we ever film in Washington, can I let Dick Cheney perform Capitol Punishment on the rejects with his shotgun?"

"I think that I'll be really good at judgifying their singification."

When asked to comment on some of the past contestants and winners, Bush said:

Kelly Clarkson: "Her movie, From Justin to Kelly, is one of my favoritist of all times, especially when they got all them girls in their bikinis."

Kelly Pickler: "Real smart girl. She could be President like me."

Ruben Studdard: "We had him up ta the White House and he ate two full buckets of the Colonel's. I'd hate to see him at a buffet."

Taylor Hicks: "I think they call all us Southern folks Hicks just cuz he won."

Carrie Underwood: "I like her deviled ham."

Sanjaya: "I can actually sing better 'n that feller. Maybe we could have a sing off or somethin'."

Fantasia: "I seen that movie about here. I like it best when Mickey Mouse is trying to sweep up all that water with them brooms."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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