Written by C I Weightman
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Friday, 22 August 2008

image for Royal family show off their crown jewels
"Brian the Donkey"

A Buckingham Palace memo finalising the arrangements of the Queen and HRH Prince Phillip's forthcoming holiday plans have been leaked, it was announced last night.

Plans are afoot for the royal pair to spend one week of their summer holiday at an Eastbourne nudist resort, according to the memo leaked from an upstairs bathroom tap within the Palace. The resort, Sunnyside Up Nudes, is aimed at the aristocratic end of the market and has thereby been chosen by the unlikely nudists who wish to avoid mixing with "the unwashed, undressed masses". The resort brochure boasts five miles of "unadulterated sandy dunes" and features pictures of Dukes, Earls, Princesses and general toffs frolicking to their hearts content without their pants on along the sodden beach at Eastbourne.

The ageing royal posers plan to travel light, packing only their toothbrushes, a pair of flip flops each, maybe a sombrero hat and a large lilo which can be placed strategically to avoid the paps snapping Phillip's crown jewels.

Beverley Flasher, 56 year old proprietor of Sunnyside Up Nudes, earlier told reporters of her excitement of the anticipated week-long royal visit, "I'm so excited", she said, adding that "we have arranged for a new donkey to be installed at the beach as the Palace tells us the Queen loves to ride bare-back".

Sunnyside Up is planning to expand their venture to politicians, world leaders and members of the Big Brother household.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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